not having to explain yourself

Since Fall 2005 I've fallen "off track" with school. I haven't taken a full semester of classes since Spring 2005. I continued taking classes until Fall 2006, but part time and frequently dropped/failed classes. Undeservedly passed by the will of gracious professors. Whats most frustrating about this is aside from the fact that I haven't known and still don't really know what I want to do with my life, I'm not sure why this happened. I know it was in 2005 that I allowed myself to change, to embrace myself being someone I wanted to be. I could frequently be accused of over-analyzing, thats appropriate in many cases and this time, I feel like I need to stop asking questions. I need to accept that things are different, they'll continue to change. I am going to have to adjust.

Since realizing this, I've come to the conclusion that I really need to not care about what my major is and just finish my bachelors. Begin my exploration to what I want to do with myself afterward. There are things I aspire to be, not be, but enjoy. I need to work toward them, harder than I have. And I'll say that part of my not trying hard enough is because I haven't known what to work toward. But I want to take each day one at a time. Look to the future, but enjoy whats on my plate and be content with what I have.