I was driving home from my parents this evening on 66. I noticed to my left a car staying just by my side. I looked over. There... two terribly good looking boys trying to get my attention. From the Nutley St exit to the 495 exit they blew me kisses.
I think I'll call it highway-love.
It kinda made my night.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
the weight of lies - the avett brothers
Disappear from you hometown
Go and find the people that you know
Show them all you good parts
Leave town when bad ones start to show
Go and wed a woman
A pretty girl that you’ve never met
Make sure she knows you love her well
But don’t make any other promises
The weight of lies will bring you down
And follow you to every town
Cause nothing happens here that doesn’t happen there
So when you run make sure you run
To something and not away from
Cause lies don’t need an aeroplane to chase you anywhere
I once heard the worse thing
A man could do is draw a hungry crowd
Tell everyone his name, pride, and confidence
But leaving out his doubt
I’m not sure I bought those words
When I was young I knew most everything
These words have never met so much to anyone
As they now mean to me
The weight of lies will bring you down
And follow you to every town
Cause nothing happens here that doesn’t happen there
So when you run make sure you run
To something and not away from
Cause lies don’t need an aeroplane to chase you down
Go and find the people that you know
Show them all you good parts
Leave town when bad ones start to show
Go and wed a woman
A pretty girl that you’ve never met
Make sure she knows you love her well
But don’t make any other promises
The weight of lies will bring you down
And follow you to every town
Cause nothing happens here that doesn’t happen there
So when you run make sure you run
To something and not away from
Cause lies don’t need an aeroplane to chase you anywhere
I once heard the worse thing
A man could do is draw a hungry crowd
Tell everyone his name, pride, and confidence
But leaving out his doubt
I’m not sure I bought those words
When I was young I knew most everything
These words have never met so much to anyone
As they now mean to me
The weight of lies will bring you down
And follow you to every town
Cause nothing happens here that doesn’t happen there
So when you run make sure you run
To something and not away from
Cause lies don’t need an aeroplane to chase you down
Friday, September 21, 2007
Don't you know that I belong arm in arm with you baby?
This may come off as a blanket statement, however, it is my personal understanding that no matter what age someone is, maturity levels can drop to zero in an instant. Myself included.
I have watched myself change in the past year. Beginning with when I moved out of my parent's house to a shared one with my sister and our roommate to now living for the most part alone, until I found someone to move in with... she is a corrupter of spirit and silence. She has done enough to obstruct my personal fancies that I choose to no longer address her in my blogs.
Now let me focus on this blog. Since moving out of my parents home I've over come a lot of struggles I've had. Many of which I initially thought to be problems that lay within others, but they were my own. Some things I've been successful in changing and others I've been too foolish to change and they're coming back... to haunt me. An oh-so-conscious haunting, I'd been waiting. While I make this sound like the most dreadful thing, it really isn't. First off, its my own doing and secondly... whats so bad about dealing with matters at hand? I recently had a conversation with a friend and it was so nice to talk about certain things that I have been thinking about a lot lately.
The conversation went something like this...
My friend inquired about my feelings regarding moving in with my parents after a year of living away, I confessed to being excited. Excited about the new level of honesty I've established with my parents, there was a long time I'd gone without being honest with them and instead of being foolish and self-destructive I decided to face the fact that they aren't going to agree with everything I do, say and think, but then they will at least know who I am. My friend said she's made a real effort to no longer lie about things, accept truths as they are and not try to change that. Dissapointment may ensue, but honesty is the best policy. We talked about how our parents, once we left their homes, are people. Not just these temples we return to, they are simple human beings, they have feelings, thoughts and make mistakes, just like we do. Its been so humbling to be able to see everyone on the same level. While I still have respect for my parents, there are things I cannot and will not sacrifice in my own beliefs. But being honest with them is a lot easier than I thought, I know they will love me no matter what and thats more comforting than any lie.
My family is probably the most important thing to me. I don't think I could survive without them.
I have watched myself change in the past year. Beginning with when I moved out of my parent's house to a shared one with my sister and our roommate to now living for the most part alone, until I found someone to move in with... she is a corrupter of spirit and silence. She has done enough to obstruct my personal fancies that I choose to no longer address her in my blogs.
Now let me focus on this blog. Since moving out of my parents home I've over come a lot of struggles I've had. Many of which I initially thought to be problems that lay within others, but they were my own. Some things I've been successful in changing and others I've been too foolish to change and they're coming back... to haunt me. An oh-so-conscious haunting, I'd been waiting. While I make this sound like the most dreadful thing, it really isn't. First off, its my own doing and secondly... whats so bad about dealing with matters at hand? I recently had a conversation with a friend and it was so nice to talk about certain things that I have been thinking about a lot lately.
The conversation went something like this...
My friend inquired about my feelings regarding moving in with my parents after a year of living away, I confessed to being excited. Excited about the new level of honesty I've established with my parents, there was a long time I'd gone without being honest with them and instead of being foolish and self-destructive I decided to face the fact that they aren't going to agree with everything I do, say and think, but then they will at least know who I am. My friend said she's made a real effort to no longer lie about things, accept truths as they are and not try to change that. Dissapointment may ensue, but honesty is the best policy. We talked about how our parents, once we left their homes, are people. Not just these temples we return to, they are simple human beings, they have feelings, thoughts and make mistakes, just like we do. Its been so humbling to be able to see everyone on the same level. While I still have respect for my parents, there are things I cannot and will not sacrifice in my own beliefs. But being honest with them is a lot easier than I thought, I know they will love me no matter what and thats more comforting than any lie.
My family is probably the most important thing to me. I don't think I could survive without them.
Monday, September 10, 2007
back and forth, flip-flop, this and that
Indecision. I personally shouldn't complain about this trait, in relation to other people, when I suffer from it. However, while I am aware of my own indecision, I feel that I can point out the hypocrisy of others.
I recently found someone to renew my lease with me. We found each other through craigslist, sketchy? Yes and no. We exchanged emails and seemed to click. (Seriously.. why couldn't I have the lawyer?) Anyway, Labor Day weekend she was supposed to move in that Friday, no.. then Saturday.. then she made me wait four and a half hours to hear from her... then I said, "Come on Monday, noon."
Honestly, at this point I wished I was the Fonz and could have said "Be there, whoa." But I'm really not that tuff.
So.. Monday... she doesn't get here until 6. Awesome. I've already given so much, but I'm figuring that maybe this is just a rusty start to something great. Well... I'm so caught up with having someone to renew my lease with; I just need one more person, that I forget to see things that are really not okay. For example, calling my friends and sister "hippies" because they are vegan and/or vegetarian. When I corrected her by saying "Honestly, we all identify as the following; anarchists, socialists (then pointed at myself) and other." She just said "Oh no, you're all hippies." Being called a hippie, to me, isn't a bad thing. In fact its a lot better than many things one could be called, however, its the insulting manner in which she uses the word that offends me. She also said that she likes to make racist statements, and she excuses this because she "doesn't mean it" and she's "socially aware."
Seriously... punch in the face. But again, I'm not that tuff.
Can I also state, she's just a few feet away from me. She's a walking noise-pollution-factory. Seriously.. go away. I was beginning to enjoy having the house to myself. However, that is not the case. At least until the end of the month.
So.. anyway, the plans to renew the lease with her fell through. She emailed me and said she needs to live alone. She can afford it and that's the adult thing to do. Guess what... within the week that's she's been here, I've come to feel very comfortable with that.
Ahhhh.. I could say so much more, but I don't really want to. Anyway, I'm going to be moving back to my parents at the end of the month. I wish things were different, however, I should have trusted my intuition. I knew things would end like this, I'm happy that they are. I really am. So, things will change, but hopefully for the better. The best thing about moving back home, I'll be saving so much more money. I know I'll be able to get in all the traveling I've been wanting to do, wanting and finding necessary to my sanity.
Anyway, I'm going to update my resume, hopefully tomorrow night. Afterward, I hope to apply to some more jobs. I'm not sure about the one I just applied for, its in the office I currently work in, and because no one is mature enough to not be offended by people moving around in the office, I might not get the job.
And I end this post with one word, as I began it. Unstable.
I recently found someone to renew my lease with me. We found each other through craigslist, sketchy? Yes and no. We exchanged emails and seemed to click. (Seriously.. why couldn't I have the lawyer?) Anyway, Labor Day weekend she was supposed to move in that Friday, no.. then Saturday.. then she made me wait four and a half hours to hear from her... then I said, "Come on Monday, noon."
Honestly, at this point I wished I was the Fonz and could have said "Be there, whoa." But I'm really not that tuff.
So.. Monday... she doesn't get here until 6. Awesome. I've already given so much, but I'm figuring that maybe this is just a rusty start to something great. Well... I'm so caught up with having someone to renew my lease with; I just need one more person, that I forget to see things that are really not okay. For example, calling my friends and sister "hippies" because they are vegan and/or vegetarian. When I corrected her by saying "Honestly, we all identify as the following; anarchists, socialists (then pointed at myself) and other." She just said "Oh no, you're all hippies." Being called a hippie, to me, isn't a bad thing. In fact its a lot better than many things one could be called, however, its the insulting manner in which she uses the word that offends me. She also said that she likes to make racist statements, and she excuses this because she "doesn't mean it" and she's "socially aware."
Seriously... punch in the face. But again, I'm not that tuff.
Can I also state, she's just a few feet away from me. She's a walking noise-pollution-factory. Seriously.. go away. I was beginning to enjoy having the house to myself. However, that is not the case. At least until the end of the month.
So.. anyway, the plans to renew the lease with her fell through. She emailed me and said she needs to live alone. She can afford it and that's the adult thing to do. Guess what... within the week that's she's been here, I've come to feel very comfortable with that.
Ahhhh.. I could say so much more, but I don't really want to. Anyway, I'm going to be moving back to my parents at the end of the month. I wish things were different, however, I should have trusted my intuition. I knew things would end like this, I'm happy that they are. I really am. So, things will change, but hopefully for the better. The best thing about moving back home, I'll be saving so much more money. I know I'll be able to get in all the traveling I've been wanting to do, wanting and finding necessary to my sanity.
Anyway, I'm going to update my resume, hopefully tomorrow night. Afterward, I hope to apply to some more jobs. I'm not sure about the one I just applied for, its in the office I currently work in, and because no one is mature enough to not be offended by people moving around in the office, I might not get the job.
And I end this post with one word, as I began it. Unstable.
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